I'm having trouble being able to tell the boys from the girls!

I live in Flagstaff, Arizona. It's a hippie, Native American and eccectic group of people who let their boys grow hair to their waist. When they are under 14 years old they can be as pretty in the face as girls. I am having trouble finding a tactful way to find out out if its a girl or boy. I have made several blunders this past weekend at our snowboard festival I did. Any suggestions to how I can find out without putting my foot in my mouth and offending people? Asking their names doesn't help because the names are so different here and I can't seem to understand alot of the little ones anyway.

Just keep gender out of it! Ask what design they'd like; sometimes that right there will tell you. Otherwise, don't bring it up at all. Just say something generic, like "You look awesome!". Sometimes I have a tough time telling, also. I've learned that when in doubt, leave gender identification out.

Why does it matter? Just paint what they ask for, be nice and keep the chatter going. No need to have to know what their gender is, is there?

I guess I need a design board because they get in the chair and I ask what they'd like and I get the shoulder shrug. So that's why I will suggest a few things. I read here that when others have used a design board they usually don't pick anything from the board. That's why I didn't bother making one. I thought maybe some of you had a few good ideas on how to identify their gender so I don't make anyone mad (only the moms got peeved).
Gender doesn't matter to me but I don't want to suggest a feminine design when it's a boy.

I always take a design board, even if it's small. People here don't seem to have an imagination without it. Plus, it makes it easier for me to tailor the designs to the event. Sorry--no other insights here.

When I can't tell a boy from a girl, I ask one key question.
"What colors do you like?"

It's almost foolproof. If you still cant figure out what gender they are from that, not that it matters, then offer up animal designs. They are gender friendly. "How about an awesome tiger? You said you like blue, a blue tiger is pretty awesome"

Also, take cues from their clothing.

BTW, I know exactly what you mean, I AM one of those eccentric hippie types who name their kids stuff like Mountain and Moon (those are just their middle names, but still). I know I never got offended when people thought my son was a girl. He had long hair. What did I expect? They might not get as offended as you would think, so don't sweat it too much.

If i have a hard time telling i ask what they like if they shrug i name boy and girl stuff ... if they look at you funny when you say butterfly it may be a boy ... with that being said i have had boys ask to be butterflys just tell and paint what they pick out of the pile

Suggesting unisex designs might be a good option, if they can't make up their mind. Tigers, puppies, etc. I think if I was ever in that position, I'd err on the side of suggesting boyish designs, because I find that girls (especially tomboys) quite often like to get boy designs, while it's much less likely for a boy to want a girl design (although not unheard of!).

Now that I've had a few days to really think about my responses, I think it will be fine. I just got caught without having any ideas about the matter. I think the animal designs is a good idea, while using their favorite color. It was only my second gig. I've volunteered for years but never did anything paid. I paintied about 100 faces in the two day event. My back has been sore for days! My lines were soo long. Some waited almost two hours to get painted. The last couple of hours it was really cold and my fingers were totally numb. I was surprised that people would want cold wet paint on their face in freezing weather. The first day was beautiful but the snow moved in for sunday's event. Next year I'll be ready with an outdoor hearter!
BTW-when doing big events like this, how do you take breaks when you have really long lines? I took only one potty break in the whole 7 hours I painted on Sat.

I've only had it once and it wasn't even about painting... I keep stickers in my pockets and when I'm at an event where I see kids but mom doesn't seem interested in letting them get anything, I usually give the kids stickers (then they like me even if they didn't buy anything that day). Well, in one pocket I have superhero stickers and the other has hello kitty, princess, etc stickers. I do usually err on the side of boy stuff or whinnie the pooh if I'm not sure but this kid had long hair and pink crocs on... what was I supposed to think?? Oh, he's a boy?? oops... well, he seems to like pink so I guess it's ok that I offered him a My Little Pony sticker before he asked for Spiderman?

This is what I do when I am not sure.. I make it a joke... I will ask anyone weather I know it's a boy or a girl... I go for the opposite... especially if they are going to give me the shoulder shrug...

It goes something like this...
Me: So what would you like/
Kid: Shoulder Shurg
Me: Okay well how about a Butterfly mask or a dragon or spider man or a pretty pink puppy?

the girls laugh at spider man and the boys laugh at the pink puppy...

I did have one little boy who was too cute...

he was maybe 2 and sat down and said he wanted a Rainbow and a unicorn...
His mom and dad were both trying to get him to pick something more masculine... we all offered suggestions...." How about spider ma? or How about a dragon?" to which he replied in a very annoyed and matter of fact tone....

"How about a rainbow... and a unicorn..." I said well this man knows what he wants... Since his favorite color was Blue I was able to give him a blue rainbow unicorn.

sometimes you can tell by the shoes...most boys won't wear girlie shoes if they are teens..

I always have a design board and a photo book with me. If they don't know what they want when they get to my chair, I tell them to decide while I paint the next one in line. That will usually get a quick response because they don't want to wait longer! I don't worry too much about gender. I have had girls ask for spiderman or a monster while I have had boys (young and older teens) ask to be fairies and butterflies. I usually just paint what I'm asked to paint. I will sometimes make suggestions if the child is really young, and usually it is something similar to what Izzy does.

I don't do a board, but I do have a binder full of designs. Instead of printing photos I just paint directly on the paper, and I have all my designs mixed up, not a "boy" page or a "girl" page. It really helps because if this ever happens to me I don't even need to tailor my answers, I just hand them the book and whatever they pick is fine with me!

that is the SAME in my hippie mountain town, we just helped out with the kids area at a concert, and we had 10 kids sitting in a circle and share their names, Mat-ya, Ches-na-bob, Ky-lynn-moon beams, theo, I mean every single name was some mystical, unique name.. then the adults were like Michelle, Amy, Luis etc. and they ALL had long hair. I know a little girl who dresses like a boy, and LOVES it when she is mistaken for a boy. Her mom just deals, but still announces and corrects gently when she is mistaken. The thing that gets me, is if a boy wants something femine, then why not? why do we assist in pushing them into these gender roles? I hate it. I feel bad, I want them to have what they want, within reason. I don't want them to get beat up or anything, but would love to be part of a little person's life in NOT learning gender roles, just imagination and transformation. Pink used to be a boy color, and light blue with the girl color back in the 20's.

If I really can't tell AND they have no idea, I do a tribal design using colors from their shirt.....then I ask if they want glitter. I'll go with stars and spikes and dots. When they ask what it is is supposed to be, I say incredulously "it's a face painting!"....

I had a rather large 12 yr old boy in his baseball uniform ask for a rainbow butterfly with glitter and gems. I painted him and off he went to his game, he came back later and asked if I could touch it up where he sweated, one of the kids in my line called him a slurr, and I was really irritated, the 12 yr old turned and said , I'm not gay, I'm clever, the other team is so busy looking at my face and being rude I hit two home runs today    I didn't care about the why, I knew he was going to get picked on and he knew he was going to get picked on he was ready for the insults. I figure if a kid wants what he wants and has the money I'll paint what they choose. I paint a whole lotta MLP twilight sparkle and rainbow dash on boys.

That's pretty cool Shandi! I'm not face painting professionally yet, but this weekend I sold jewelry at a festival. I also had fairy crowns for sale (wire garland with curly ribbon down the back) and a "Make your own Slime" table. Two sisters came over and got fairy crowns. Their little brother wanted one SOOOO bad! But Dad would have nothing to do with it. His son was going to make SLIME! The kid did it, but he didn't really enjoy it. He just wanted one of those shiny pink crowns! He was about three..... poor kid!

Regardless of gender, I always ask every kid these questions in this order:

1. "Do you know what you want or do you want me to help you decide?"
2. "Do you want something on your whole face, something on the side of your face, or something on your arm?" (I usually touch each area when asking this so that they understand me...I cover their face with my two palms while saying "whole face" helps them to understand that they may have to close their eyes for a whole face painting..I do it lightly and quickly)
3. "Do you want something pretty, something scary, or an animal?" (key question that helps you avoid figuring out gender)

From this I give a few suggestions that fit what they tell me they want. It always works...I never have to worry about gender. Of course, once the design is chosen, the last question is "What's your favorite color?"

The parents don't seem disturbed because they hear me asking every kid the same questions. This also allows a girl to choose something scary or a boy to choose something pretty, which occasionally happens and that's just fine with me!

Hope that helps!