What would Perry/Shannon Do?

So I called this lady back a few moments ago and asked her if she was going to return the agreement I sent her for her son's birthday party in January. I wanted to practically do the party for free when I got off the phone with her. One of her twin 5 year old daughters has been in the hospital for a months and a half now due to having seizure after seizure. Now she tells me that her husband left her because he could no longer handle having 7 children (some of which are foster children.) She said he just took off and went to Florida with no notice or goodbyes...

Omg...can you believe that crap?! What a complete and utter a**hole....

She should save her money then.

I think Perry has left the building...

I was wondering where Perry has been... Had not seen her on lately.

I know that I do not have nearly the experience in this as the rest of you but if that really and truly is the story of that lady's life right now I would be offering to do the party for free (or practically). This is not an easy time of year to be dealing with all of that stuff for an adult let alone her kids that are living through it too, I mean a seriously ill little sister, a dad that leaves and a mom that is no doubt incredibly stressed out by both situations. I would think of it as a little gift for the birthday boy because it sounds like the whole family could use a little ray of sunlight and kindness right about now.

I asked her if she really wanted to still have me there in spite of all that is going on and she said yes. So, apparently, she feels the kids need to escape the everyday and have some face painting.

I wish I could offer to do this party for free... but it is a 2 hour party and I really need the money myself since I suffer from SMS (Single Mom Syndrome)... there isn't a week goes by that I don't get some kind of a shut-off notice in the mail.

It just p*sses me off that this man is down in Florida somewhere and he abandoned the whole family in their time of need. I have no other words, except #%&^*@(#!!!

Now, now, remember there are always 2 sides to the story! At least wait until AFTER you see how she lives to discount your fee. You might get to the house and see a brand new car in the drive. Hate to play devil's advocate but sometimes people think themselves far worse off than they really are!

Misha wrote:Now, now, remember there are always 2 sides to the story! At least wait until AFTER you see how she lives to discount your fee. You might get to the house and see a brand new car in the drive. Hate to play devil's advocate but sometimes people think themselves far worse off than they really are!

I was about to say much the same. It sounds like the poor woman's going through a dreadful time....but right now, even when I'm NOT going through a particularly bad financial time, I couldn't afford a professional face painter (even discounted) at any party I was throwing. I once helped raise money for someone who'd been through something awful and said she was on the breadline, only to hear afterwards about how she'd just had her pool bricked over and bought a new luxury swingset for her kids....at the price of several thousand dollars. She's a lovely person, too - it's just that her idea of "poor" and mine are worlds apart.

You have such an obviously kind heart, and I'd want to help your client, too - but don't make yourself poorer by doing so.

Kammy x

I agree, you've had sms for awhile, it just hit her. Give her some time to adjust. She may have a sponsoring parent, in-law, or social services grant of some kind? But pray for her, after all, that's not the least you can do, but the most!

I would not give her a discount - you need the money, she obviously feels it is worth spending. How about throwing in something extra, like some free bonus time, or a glitter tattoo for the birthday boy. You could even give her a voucher for some extra time at the next booking. You can tell her how sorry you feel, and how you feel she deserves a little extra.

This way you can show her that there still are nice people in the world - but without cutting your income too much.

I always give a free glitter tattoo to the birthday child...

Nope, no freebies from the kind-hearted, bleeding heart Miss Ronnie!

I did, however, tell her that I would put lotsa prayers out there for her!

Be careful Miss Ronnie! Remember that other thread somewhere, about people looking for discounts but lying? Remember that SOB n the news, that even tried to get her wedding free by saying she had cancer and was going to die? It may be all true, in which case maybe you can add some bling or something, but I'd keep the price the same. Get your price if she wants a painter. I actually agree with Shannon, she should save her money, with 7 kids and no husband! There are other ways to celebrate her daughter's homecoming.

I have to tell you guys, this woman NEVER hinted at a discount or anything like that. How I even found out about all that she's going through was just by chatting with her.... and everyone knows how much I like my chatting! I just happened to find out all this stuff about her 'cause I chatted her up! I'm just saying that I got off the phone and wanted (for a brief moment) to go to her house and help her out (7 kids? What was I thinking?!!) and then drive down to Florida and murdalize her husband..

LOL... Ronnie, I hate to say it, but she's not the only one... Are you going to do free parties for everyone who has a sob story? Run your business like a business. Volunteer when it won't hurt your business. I did something similar for a family & told them I'd swing by when my other jobs were done & if I did get booked I'd have to push it back further. I ended up moving their slot 2 times & they were still greatful (it was for a little girl w/ cancer who passed away today ). But that's the only one like that I've ever done....

I also have a story of a mom I knew that was ALWAYS in a crisis.... She homeschooled w/ us & put out an email request for homeschool books since she couldn't buy any that year. We pooled together & got her everything she needed. She sold it online & bought sseason passes to an ammusement park. When I confronted her about what she did she just didn'tget that what she did was fraud. I never loaned or gave her anything again (and she still had needs...).
Just be careful....

Miss Ronnie, your heart is huge and your first instinct is to give-Bless you. I have to agree with the ladies above. You have expenses and this is your business, so do what you do naturally and you will give her much more than she could have ever expected, and she and the children will have an experience they will never forget. Thats priceless!...and for everything else...there's Master card

Listen up, ya'll

I stated: "I practically wanted to do the party for free" - never considered actually doing so, though!

What I really wanted to do was murdelize her husband...still do.

But, heck, no charity for someone who can even think of paying a face painter for a party when I was never even able to provide my son the braces he desperately needs 'cause I couldn't afford the monthly payment AND keep the heat on in the house at the same time.

p.s. I'm so sorry for the loss of your little friend, Linda

p.s.s. I miss Perry.

I miss Perry too
*sigh*



hope she's doing well

This is just my opinion.... I believe very strongly in helping others, both as a personal philosophy and as a tenet of my faith. I also think that, when you do things for others that they can do for themselves, you take away their dignity. Obviously, this woman feels very strongly about providing a birthday experience for her child, and you don't want to take that joy away from her.

However, if I got to the party and it was obvious they were struggling, I'd give her a significant discount on the bill. Not enough to make her feel like she's getting charity, but having an extra $20 or $40 more than she expected at the end of the month could give her some blessed breathing room. Tell her you had a good Christmas season, so you're running a sale in January. Or something similar.

Several years ago, my husband and I separated for a short time. Watching what it did to my kids broke my heart. They missed our complete family all the time and I would have done anything to give them a break from that pain. I completely understand going ahead with the party in this situation.

I understand what you are saying, Jenny.

However, I do not make it a secret and am not embarrassed to admit that I (and my son, of course) live at a low poverty income income level. I have to make payments every month to my father who fronted the money 2 years ago for me to turn professional. I get a threat notice on my door knob about the water being in danger of getting shut off several times a year. My phone/cable/ internet package gets shut off more than I care to think about. We keep our thermostat extremely low all winter long (63 degrees) so we can avoid getting our heat and electric shut off. Sometimes I have to borrow money from my own 16 year son (from his burger joint job) just to get a bill paid by the end of the month.

When my son was little, his birthday parties were decorations from the dollar store and a homemade cake. I provided fun games and the prizes were dollar store items. No gift bags went home with the kids. I lived in low-income housing, but I threw a fun party for under $50.00.

I'm certainly not looking for sympathy here. I do what I have to do to make it work for us. Health problems put me in this position, but I don't let those health problems keep me down.

The lesson here in this whole thread is that the woman should not be spending her money on me, a face painter... I'm sure the kids would have a fun party without a face painter; but she insists she wants me.

That is on her. I am charging my full price.

But I have a huge heart and her story got to me because of the RAT of a husband that left her. I originally started the thread because I wanted to vent and hate on him a little!

Hopefully Santa will dump a whole truckload of coal over his head this Christmas...

I have a great admiration for you, Miss Ronnie!
You're struggling, but you're always kind and sweet for everyone of us! You make me laugh and giggly, reading your posts, you make my days brighter!!
Thank you for being so nice and lovely and caring! You're one of a kind!

Xxx

thumbs up for Miss Ronnie!

Well said Rhonda. In life we play the hand we're dealt - how well you play it is up to you. Sounds to me like you're absolutely making the best of it, and you are an inspiration to so many of us here.

Miss Ronnie, I did not mean to put you and your situation down in any way. I was trying to address the blanket assumption that, no what our own personal circumstances, we should never give services away. I wanted to give a suggestion of how to do it spontaneously, in a way that might not lead to future expectations.

I have lived in poverty, both as a child and as an adult. I know how grindingly hard it is, day in and day out. I have a great deal of respect for anyone who does it. I hope 2013 is a prosperous year for you!

Jenny, no need to apologize! I didn't take what you said in that way! I just wanted to let you know that I agreed with you when you said it is nice to give that little something extra, especially during the holidays!

I felt so bad for woman.

And for every time I think I have it tough, I know there are so many others who have it much more difficult than I could ever imagine - I mean, I can afford internet (haha, barely!) and others don't have anything for dinner.

Thank you all for your kind words. It's a tough world for so many and we all need each other!

Miss Ronnie, you utterly rock, and I'm always inspired by you.

That is all.