I'm broken :(

I have been ducking in and out of here for awhile off and on.
Three weeks ago I lost my mum.
she had been battling cancer for two years and due to some complications we lost her very suddenly. She was only 63.
I don't know what to do with myself. I am broken.
I know time is the only thing that will help - I lost my dad to the same thing at 19 yrs old.
I'm a 35 yr old orphan

so if some of my posts are a little vague or perhaps a little curt please forgive me.
My heart is broken and my head is not in a good place. I find myself having to control my emotions constantly so I'm not losing it over nothing.

I'm still working as it seems to be the only time I can allow myself to smile and laugh without having a really bad come down on the other side.

Still can't believe it happened. Keep picking up the phone to call her.

just didn't want you guys to think I had checked out on you.
Xxxx




On a lighter note - the sexy new forum colors match my Dragon avatar!
A girls gotta match you know.

(((hugs)))

So sorry for your loss. My prayers for you and your family. Hugs
Astrid

Oh Tash (((((( a big warm fuzzy hug))))))) I feel your sadness & loss. Take it one day at a time, we love ya.

I had thought the same thing about the new forum look & your dragon, nice match. xoxoxo

I know how much your heart hurts. I just lost my dear nephew tragically only two weeks ago. It hurts so much... And I seem to dream about him every night.

Please feel free to private message me and maybe we can help each other. My heart goes out to you, dear one.

Oh Tash, I'm so sorry for your pain. Having lost both my parents by the time I was 27, I understand how unfair it seems. When you lose your Mum so quickly, you just can't seem to wrap your head around it. You'll grieve in your own way & according to your own timetable. I'll keep you in my prayers.

I know it's something it'll happen some day, but I don't wanna even think about losing my parents, I'd be lost without them. (((((((((((Sending warm hugs))))))))))

oh Tash, I'm sending big hugs all over the ocean! I cannot imagine how it must feel....

Tash, I lost my father 2 years ago, and Just now I am coming to the point I don't cry when I wake up at 3 a.m. thinking of him, I used to cry a lot for no reason specially when I was taking a shower or cooking , it feels so weird not to have a dad when I spent my whole life thinking "what he would think about this".
But you know the answer TIME, and yes she was young but fight with cancer for 2 years it is no fair for anyone, It hurts me more than anything remember him suffering, I hate cancer, I hate to think how it transform my handsome old man, my hero, in just a bag of bones full of pain, I am so glad he is gone and doesn't have to suffer anymore.

At the other end we are so lucky we have or art to hold on, painting is the only thing I can find comfort.

Dear Tash, I am so sorry that you lost your mama. I can't imagine what you must be feeling. Sending my ((((((Hugs)))))) and prayers.

Tash,

I am so sorry for your loss-

I recently lost a friend to suicide, and it has affected me more deeply than I thought possible. I wonder if the state of the world has us more sensitive to unexpected loss.

My dear, sweet, creative lady- time heals some wounds, others it just makes less painful. My wish and prayer for you is that the pain may fade quickly and the good memories and wonderous things you shared with your mother will live on in you and through the people you share those memories, values and learnings with.

Know that you ARE loved by many on this earth and in the heavens!

Dean

I am so sorry for your loss tash! sending all my prayers and hugs your way<3

It's awfull loosing a parent you love so deeply.
Time does heal the pain and tears, but not the fact I miss my dad every second...

Sending you lots of huggs!

Oh Tash!
That's awful.

I lost both of my grandparents to cancer very young, and I still miss them terribly and tears will catch me unaware when I think of them.
Like someone else said, (the only positive is that) their suffering is over.

I wish for a balm for your heartache. Broken-hearted you may be, but not broken girl! Keep on keepin' on. We are thinking of you.
I wish I could make it better for you.

Tash, I'm so sorry! I lost my parents within a year of each other right after Hurricane Katrina, but at least when I do think of them now, it's only good memories and not painful ones, so it's easier.

(((((HUGS)))))

Tash...if you can, find the book ” Intra Muros” by Rebecca, Springer. My favourite is the old version, circa 1898. With two sons on the other side, it has greatly deepened my positive outlook in a very tangible way. If I weren't re-reading it for the umpteenth time...if you pm me, I may have a digital file I can send. Praying tons for you.

Tash, I'm so sorry for your loss. My mom passed away suddenly nearly 17 years ago. At the time she was only 53 which is one year older than I am now. Lost my dad several years later to cancer. Didn't realize what an "orphan" felt like till then. Time will make it easier to deal with.

Hugs

My thoughts are with you right now.

Big big hugs Tash. Loosing your mum and dad, so hard.

Oh Tash... so sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to imagine what you must be going through. Hang in there girl, we're all here for you when you need someone. Wishing you strength and sending peaceful vibes your way.

So sad for you. Take care of yourself.

Oh Tash, My heart breaks for you. I'm praying for you to reach a point where you can be happy again & remember your mum in all the good times.

((HUGS)).

Tash, I was so sorry to hear of your loss. I know this pain. I lost my Mum to cancer when she was only 47. I was 21, and in loosing her I also lost my best friend. It broke us too, but at the same time made us stronger and closer as a family. Greave in your own time and in your own way. Don't listen to anyone trying to tell you how, what or how long it should take. It's different for everyone, there is no right way, just your way. Hold on to those you love and love you. ((hugs)) x

love you Tash... I hope your heart heals soon.

I know how you feel. It's so hard and really only someone who has been through the same thing can understand. Loosing your mom... it's just really hard. Anyway, what I will tell you is go ahead and feel what you feel. Let yourself be sad and let yourself have happy moments too. Time WILL help. I lost my mom 15 years ago and I can tell you that the pain lessens and you will come to a time when you actually smile at the memories without the sadness. Yes, you will still miss her sometimes, but it won't be the same constant ache and you will have times of pure joy from the memories. Hugs and prayers to you!!!