Today was the saddest day of my LIFE!=A LONG VENT....be prepared!

Today, My first son, and oldest child, Zachary graduated from High School. The saddest thing is, i didn't get to tell him how proud I was of him, or hug him or touch him, or even get a picture with him. We had a big blow-out about his stupid graduation party--which was his step-mom's fault--(but of course everything was MY fault), and he wrote me a HUGE letter on FB in which he wrote the F___ word over 20 times, yelled at me, and told me in other words that I was a horrible mother--all because I was so left out in all the planning of that stupid party we planned to have together--BIG mistake. SO__he de-friended me on Facebook, and I didn't get to even GO to his stupid party, because I didn't want to cause a scene. They all hate me now, and don't want anything to do with me. I RAISED that child--he is what he is today because of ME! He's only lived with his dad for 5 years. Did HE or SHE ever wipe his nose, or butt, or rock him to sleep, or nurse him, or sing to him, or read to him, or cuddle him when he hurt???? NO--I did it all!!! I homeschooled him, I taught him right from wrong, and taught him to fear God. And this is what I get???? It hurt so bad--I was trying to get pictures of him as he walked to the stage to get his diploma, and when he saw me, (after I got a shot or two) he turned away---that hurt me more than anything in the world! I feel like I don't know him anymore! He's hurt me more than he'll ever know. I love him SO much, and my heart is broken! I've given this all to God, because he knows the truth. But that step-mom just keeps rubbing it in. He even gave a SPEECH based on Phillippians 4:13---at the baccalaurate earlier today--which I didn't know about or get invited to---and she said in her blog, "Only his dad and I knew what OUR son went through this week out of no fault of his own, and we were SO proud of his speech."
I'm sorry, but isn't that being a hypocrite??? Cussing out your mother, and then giving a speech based on the word of God??? He may have had a time of anger and hurt over what happened, so he wrote something horrible to vent at me, but that's no excuse for dishonoring me! I'm just so hurt and angry!!! No one needs to reply, I'm just needing to vent. It's been a tough day, that's for sure. Now I'm home, and he knows I still love him--I wrote him a note and put it in his car. Please pray for my situation, if you're a praying person. I love you all---sorry I haven't been on here lately, but I'm working a lot at my new job. God bless all!
--Darlene

im so sorry that happened...im not really "a prayin person" but i will keep you in my thoughts and hope it all gets worked out. {{hugs}}

Darlene, I am so sorry this has happened. I can only imagine how much pain and hurt this has caused for you. I am praying that your son will calm down and see that he has mistreated you, and that God would begin to heal the breach between you. He may just need time to distance himself from whatever happened and come to his senses. (((HUGS)))

Oh Darlene, My heart just aches reading this. I'm so sorry this has happened. I too can pray that things will get better and be amended.

Darlene, so sorry to hear about this. I can really commiserate with you as I have gone through similar things with my daughters. I sure don't have any advice other than what I give myself. God knows exactly what you are going through and He cares more for you than you can know. I think of all the times I have let Him down and how He must sometimes feel about me the way I feel about my daughters. But He always has open arms for me and I know you will have open arms for your son. God is the God of reconciliation and I will definately pray for that for you. My heart aches for you so much, it is such a hard thing to go through and noone on this side really knows it all, except you. I hope you have a good day and rest in His arms.

Darlene, my heart breaks for you right now. No one can hurt us more than the ones we love the most. I will be praying for all of you and that God will mend hearts and heal the situation. Love and ((((((Hugs)))))).

Thanks SOOOO much ladies....I readily accept your hugs and prayers--I love this support group, I mean facepainting group!

I'm so sad for you. I know that if you keep praying about it and trying to reach out, your relationship can be healed. Mother and child relationships can weather some really tough storms. Just remember that he is probably under some misconceptions and has some anger issues with you that you might not even know about. Often one parent and their spouse poisons the mind of a child/teen against the other parent intentionally or not intentionally. I'm sure he feels justified in his anger toward you but I'm also pretty sure this is based in something he is misunderstanding or lies he has been told. Just keep letting him know you love him and always will, and that you never intended to hurt him and would like a chance to explain or work it out.

I will definitely pray for you and him.

I am so sorry you're going through this.

I had a similar situation in that I had to leave our marriage after nearly 18 years with the children and go to a shelter. My eldest son kept saying how much he hated his dad and yet, just two years after we left him, my son stormed out of my house and chose to live with my ex. when he was 14.

I kept feeling, if he hated his dad enough that he 'wished he would die', then how much more must he hate me... it was as though he'd died, my heart was broken and I deeply grieved.

But over time (after a few weeks - at first he didn't want anything to do with me) things got better between us until he was choosing to spend many days and nights with me and now lives half time with his dad and half with me - as well as all holidays.

Looking back I can see it was a good thing he left to be honest - there was less turmoil in the house (he has three siblings who live with me - all of whom pushed his buttons, as did I) and we got on better when we did see each other.

It has taken a while though, but I do feel that we have a good relationship now...although there is a residue of hurt there and trust takes a while to rebuild... there IS hope for the future and that's what I hope to share with you with sharing this - that there IS hope and things can get better

Just stay strong and know that you did what you could... keep your heart open and carry on... I hope that he'll realize quickly how much you have given to him and will be able to express how much he misses you too.

All the best to you - wishing you comfort and peace.

((((hugs)))))

Hugs to you Darlene. What a horrible thing for you to have to cope with. Keep your head high, your temper low, take the high road, and continue to turn it over to God. That age is so very tough.

Darlene,
I'm so sorry for you. God can restore what the enemy has stolen. Remember your prayers will not come back void & if you train up a child in the way he should go he will not depart from it! These are scriptures I stand on for my children when they are in God's will or out of it. He's young & in a season of going from child to man & it can be a bump road. My hubby was the one who cussed out his mother & had nothing good to say about her(and she is a wonderful lady). He realized as he got a family of his own how much she had done for him & even wrote her an apology when he turned 25. They have a great relationship now. So, I'm holding out for you & your son & that God can heal your relationship.
I'm sending hugs & prayers your way.

Darlene,
Psalmbook is right. If you raised him right he will eventually see the truth and choose the right path.
My oldest daughter and I had a very strained relationship during her teen yrs and all the way into her twenties. My daughter and I finally have a good relationship but it did take some time. My daughter has a son and the older her gets the better our relationship gets.
I've already sent my prayers. God Bless