religious joke, try not to be offended.....;0

The New Priest
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After the mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.” So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on his door:

1.Sip the Vodka, don’t gulp.
2.There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3.There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4.Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5.We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
6.The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and the Spook.
7.David slew Goliath, he did not kick the crap out of him.
8.We do not refer to the cross as the “Big T.”
9.When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, “Take this and eat it for it is my body.” He did not say, “Eat me.”
10.The Virgin Mary is not called “Mary with the Cherry.”
11.The recommended grace before a meal is not: “Rub-A-Dub-Dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God.”
12.Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter’s, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.

funny

I know a page with those kind of jokes (for young Christians), but it is in Danish

Like It!!!

Fun!
And Lone: I understand Danish - what's the link?

http://www.teos.dk/forsjov/ =)
I also have some postcards in there - the reason I know the page - the ones with dragons and landscapes.

Funny. My dad used to have a folder full of jokes he'd get from work(he was a teacher)... pre-computer days when they'd copy them one of those blue ink machines- forgot what they're called.

Gestetners. I think I still have a bottle of the correction fluid for the stencils!

Mimeograph machines!

I'm sending this to everyone in my church